Machete (2010)

5/5 -- A brilliant B-movie style bloodbath, fuelled by a cast of self-consciously overacting Hollywood stars, with a subtle political subtext.


A leading role at last, and playing alongside De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba, and yet Danny Trejo still can't muster a smile.

Directors: Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez
Writers: Robert Rodriguez, Álvaro Rodríguez
Stars: Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba and Robert De Niro

The ludicrously lethal mercenary Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) is hired by a group of unsavoury Americans headed by local millionaire Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey) to kill the extreme-right Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) at a rally ahead of the state elections, but when the day of the rally comes, Machete himself is shot at and narrowly escapes death at the hands of his duplicitous employers who were using the assassination attempt to boost the senator’s poll ratings. With the help of a trio of seductive sidekicks: immigration officer Sartana (Jessica Alba), underground resistance leader Luz (Michelle Rodriguez) and Booth’s own daughter, April (Lindsay Lohan), Machete wages a bloody war against the men who tried to kill him.

Machete is definitely the type of film that will polarise viewers - I adored it. Chris Cooper (American Beauty, The Town, Bourne Identity and Supremacy) reportedly turned down a role after reading the script, calling it ‘the most absurd thing I’ve ever read’ – Chris did not adore it. He was not wrong either; the film is completely absurd, totally overacted and excessively bloody, but it is absolutely brilliant for that. If you liked the Grindhouse films, which host the three-minute spoof trailer ‘Machete’ from which the film originates, you will love Robert Rodriguez’s finished article.

Although it is unapologetically gory, the countless stabbings, decapitations, gunshot splatterings and flying limbs are all so deliberately over the top that they become perversely comedic and fit in seamlessly with the film’s self-referential B-movie feel.

Many of the film’s scenes seem to be lifted from the Grindhouse trailer, although crucially the film itself is bolstered by Hollywood heavyweights De Niro, Alba, Rodriguez, Lohan and Steven Seagal, with the men playing overblown characters while the women play more straight (in the realms of this film) femme fatale roles. However this film was literally made for Danny Trejo, a man whose face has more lines than a zebra wearing Adidas. It doesn’t require him to act much, just to go on an extended killing spree and sleep with the impossibly attractive female cast (girls dig excessive gore); the lines he does have he growls disdainfully: “Machete don’t text” he snarls in one merch friendly one-liner. Regrettably, Machete don’t moisturise either.

Lindsay Lohan is also not at all bad as April, a role in which she plays a junkie who spends half the film naked – perhaps everything you’ve read about her in the tabloids is just preparation for this role?

Despite all the reasons not to take this film seriously, Machete actually provides a socio-political commentary about racism and the role of Hispanic immigrants in the South. I’d also be amiss not to mention that De Niro’s Senator McLaughlin is something akin to a Tea Party candidate on steroids. However these are merely footnotes to what is otherwise a wonderfully ridiculous bloodbath.

Toy Story 3 (2010)

3.5/5 -- A consistently funny, polished Pixar production that manages perfectly to strike the balance between being targeted at kids while still being an entertaining watch for their parents’ reluctant cinema excursion.


Buzz impresses Jessie after being turned into a conquistador in the funniest scene in the film.

Director: Lee Unkrich
Writers: John Lasseter (story), Andrew Stanton (story)
Stars: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen and Joan Cusack

There is perhaps no greater sign of how much things have changed for the world of Andy’s toys since the first Toy Story film was released in 1995, than when Hamm the once beloved, but now shunned piggy bank, turns to his fellow playthings as says, with an air of resignation: “C’mon. Let’s see how much we’re going for on eBay.” Years have passed since their last adventure and Woody (Tom Hanks), Buzz (Tim Allen) and the crew have suffered. They haven’t grown older, they’re plastic, but Andy (John Morris), their owner has grown up at stopped playing with them. As Andy prepares to go to college, the toys are inadvertently shipped off to a day care centre, which seems the ideal solution, until things take a horrifying turn of events – well, not horrifying, or even unsuspected, but bad, real bad.

I’m not the biggest Pixar fan, as I’m of the generation that grew up with the Disney classics (Aladdin is a personal favourite), but I wanted to see Toy Story 3 after it was so successful in the awards season and I confess to being impressed. Okay, it was a ridiculous nomination for Best Picture at the Academy Awards, which never would’ve stood had the board not increased the number of nominees to ten in order to boost ticket sales, but it was brilliantly written, flawlessly animated and both adults and children would find it consistently funny, which is no mean feat.

Although the film is littered with one-liners and moments of minor comic genius, by far the funniest sequence comes when Buzz gets accidentally set to Spanish and he becomes a salsa dancing conquistador, strutting about with a camp Hispanic flair and sweeping cowgirl Jessie (Joan Cusack) off her feet.

The classic formula for a kids film states that all films must carry some kind of message, like a social contract clause, to indoctrinate its younger viewers to become worthwhile human beings. Fittingly, as this seems to be the last in the Toy Story franchise, the moral to this story is that there comes a time to let go of the ones you love. Sad times. And while I find Woody sickeningly moral and Buzz unbearably arrogant (when not set to conquistador), I’m really going to miss Rex the Green Dinosaur.

Saw 3D (2010)

2.5/5 -- The ‘final’ Saw film is better than some of its predecessors, not least for its use of 3D technology which is genuinely amongst the best I’ve seen.


When GCSE woodwork goes bad...

Director: Kevin Greutert
Writers: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan
Stars: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor and Betsy Russell

Either you like the Saw franchise or you don’t, either way you know what you’re getting with a Saw film: excessive violence. On that level this film doesn’t disappoint. Jigsaw is now dead and as a battle ensues over his legacy, self-help guru and Jigsaw survivor Bobby Degan (Sean Patrick Flanery), purports to help fellow victims before his own dark secrets lead him into a new game.

I’ve seen quite a few modern 3D films now and, unexpectedly, I found that Saw 3D uses the technology better than most. I found some of the 3D parts of the human world of Avatar actually made what we were seeing look less real, as Cameron tried to be too clever with the technology and make things that we recognise in 2D, come alive in 3D; it didn’t work for me. What viewers want with 3D films is things flying at their face, which is why 3D technology perfectly complements the Saw franchise. Saw 3D has no shortage of limbs and blood splatter splayed into the audience via the new technology and it adds to the experience. If you can find entertainment in the violence on screen, you will doubtless be grimacing and laughing at some of the 3D techniques on offer.

Other than the 3D aspect, this is a particularly unremarkable Saw film. The acting is terrible, as ever, and the plot is twisted (in all possible connotations), but carefully planned. Saw’s best days have long-since expired and recent films have been poor, by the franchise’s standards, but this film was better than some of its predecessors.

This is by no means a must-see, but I will venture the brave and original statement: if you like the Saw films you will like this, but make sure you watch the 3D version.

Shutter Island (2010)

4/5 -- A great modern mystery thriller. An intriguing narrative is complemented by DiCaprio’s strong leading performance and some stunning visuals.


DiCaprio as Teddy Daniels, just as the paranoia begins to set in.

Director: Martin Scorsese
Writers: Laeta Kalogridis (screenplay), Dennis Lehane (novel)
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley and Michelle Williams

So it’s a Scorsese film starring Leonardo DiCaprio, it was always going to be good. Set in 1954, DiCaprio plays Teddy Daniels, a US Marshal sent along with fellow Marshal Chuck Aule (Mark Ruffalo) to investigate the disappearance of a murderess at a hospital for the criminally insane set on Shutter Island. In transpires that Teddy has pushed to be assigned to this island to conduct his own investigation into a patient there who he believes to be involved in the murder of his wife Dolores (Michelle Williams). Just as Teddy’s investigation brings a promising lead, he is denied access to the patient records, which leads him to fall out with the institution’s doctor John Cawley (Ben Kingsley) and demand to leave. His exit is halted by a sudden storm that stops all ferries from running to and from the island, but the longer he stays on the island the more his own paranoia starts to take hold.

This is a beautifully shot film. The setting is perfect, collegiate red brick buildings perched upon a black jagged rock of an island, with no easy means for escape, complemented by artificial storms that make the apocalyptic film 2012 seem like a damp Tuesday. Scorsese’s use of light in the film is particularly striking; it is almost shot in film noir style. Poorly lit cellblocks, heavily overcast skies and night time investigations contribute to provide a feeling of uncertainty about what lies in store for our hero and add to the sense of bleakness, marooned on an inhospitable rock.

This isn’t by any means a bleak film however, it is a mystery thriller in the classical sense and will hold your intrigue throughout, if perhaps not have you on the edge of your seat. As a general principle, I believe any film over two hours in length has to be special to justify that amount of screen time. This film is 138 minutes long, but it never drags and there is rarely a pause in the suspense.

I won’t spoil the ending, but you can tell from the way the film is written and the mere fact that it is a Scorsese picture that it isn’t going to just fade out, it’s going to be intelligent. I have to admit, I predicted the end before it actually happened, which is always both gratifying and disappointing, although this film, like any good mystery, does encourage the viewer to try to work it out. The very final scene, particularly Teddy’s last line in the film, is brilliantly crafted, posing as many questions as exist in the entirety of the film itself.

DiCaprio is the driving force behind this film. He has developed into one of the finest actors of his generation, even if the majority of his recent roles seem to find him playing serious, humourless professionals (this is certainly the case when he works with Scorsese), see Inception. This film is no different, DiCaprio plays Teddy straight and stern (which is understandable given Teddy’s background) and yet the audience warm to him and worry for his safety when he is put in peril. It is the type of assured performance that one has come to expect of DiCaprio.

127 Hours (2010)

3.5/5 -- A moving and absorbing portrayal of Aron Ralston’s incredible spirit in the face of bleak circumstances.


If you don't like James Franco's face, this is perhaps not the film for you.

Director: Danny Boyle
Writers: Danny Boyle (screenplay), Simon Beaufoy (screenplay),
Stars: James Franco

I found 127 Hours bizarrely life affirming, which might be a unique reaction, but I perhaps seeing a man trapped in a cavern for five days makes you want to do more with your own physical liberty. Based on a true story, Aron Ralston (James Franco) is a mountain climber who becomes trapped under a boulder while canyoneering and resorts to extreme, desperate measures in order to survive. The film predominantly follows Aron’s 127 hours trapped in the canyon, capturing his thought process via a video camera that he had packed, supplemented by clever camera direction.

This is another concept, like Buried, that shouldn’t really work but does. Again, most of the film is confined to a small, enclosed space and as a result it is a slow paced film, in an effort to highlight Aron’s protracted physical struggle. However, this film was never tedious and Danny Boyle is careful to contrast moments of despair and frustration with lighter moments that make the film funny in parts.

It’s hard to review this film without talking about its one climatic scene, which was widely publicised before the film’s release, but if you really don’t want to read about it, ignore the next paragraph.

All the buzz about this film was focussed around its defining scene, where Aron cuts off his arm with a blunt knife to escape. Everyone knew about this scene going into the cinema, I even remember them talking about it on BBC Breakfast (which wasn’t the perfect addition to my corn flakes) and Danny Boyle plays on the fact that this would be the film’s selling point, highlighting the point at the beginning of the film where he couldn’t find his Swiss army knife and often bringing the focus of the audience’s attention to the blade as a perverse precursor to the horror that awaits them. In truth, as you might expect, the scene was not as gory as hyped. I understand why people would steer clear of this film as a result of this key scene, but this is not Saw VII, it’s graphic, yes, but not excessive.

James Franco competently acts this difficult role, but I wanted to see him push himself a little further, to reveal the partial insanity that Aron must have experienced. He does a great job of portraying Aron’s incredible spirit and determination, but could have done more with the role.

Black Swan (2010)

5/5 -- Aronofsky’s claustrophobic, disorientated vision is superbly complimented by a career-best performance from Natalie Portman.


Mirrors play a key role in Black Swan, literally reflecting Nina's descent into insanity.

Director: Darren Aronofsky
Writers: Mark Heyman (screenplay), Andres Heinz (screenplay)
Stars: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis and Vincent Cassel

When my brother went to see this film he said there was an older couple sat behind him who had clearly gone to see Black Swan in the expectation that it was a modern re-imagining of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. They left pretty soon into the film after the sex, madness and blood permeated the screen.

Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman) is a New York ballerina whose whole life has been conditioned to dance by her controlling, spiteful mother Erica (Barbara Hershey) herself a former ballerina who is living vicariously through her daughter. Ballet director Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel) tentatively casts Nina in her dream role of Swan Lake’s swan queen after initially thinking she could not cope with the duality of the part; while there is no doubt she would make the best innocent, beautiful white swan, the role also requires Nina to play the seductive, impulsive black swan. In struggling to come to terms with the previously unlocked dark side to her character, Nina undergoes a physical and mental transformation with the help of Leroy and her understudy Lily (Mila Kunis) that leads her into madness.

Darren Aronofsky films are nothing if not intense, but the overbearing sense of pressure and claustrophobia he achieves in Black Swan is perfect for the film. As Nina becomes consumed by her role, everything you see and hear is geared to make you feel uncomfortable, from scenes of her surreal, gruesome physical transformation to disorientating fluctuations in the music volume. In one scene that particularly highlights Aronofsky’s approach, Nina is making out with a guy she has just met in a club when halfway through she realises what she’s doing and leaves via a labyrinthine structure of murky corridors. The whole scene is shot in a single continuous take, which, while doubtlessly difficult to capture, brilliantly creates a sense of intensity and inescapable claustrophobia. This film is littered with interesting angles, focuses and changes in tempo, all wonderfully crafted to compliment the madness on screen.

Attentive viewers will also notice that there is a mirror or a reflective surface in nearly every scene until the end of the film, literally reflecting Nina’s physical change and enabling us to experience her distress at her breakdown first-hand.

But Aronofsky doesn’t stop with manipulating the visuals as he uses both the senses at his disposal to create his vision – hearing is as important as seeing in Black Swan. After seeing this film one of my friends said they enjoyed it, but they thought something was wrong with the cinema because the sound fluctuated so violently. This is, of course, is completely intentional. The film switches without hesitation between normal dialogue and the tinnitus-inducingly loud bars of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake theme to create a sense of disorientation and discomfort that mirrors Nina’s own confusion.

This is complimented by the film’s soundtrack, composed by Clint Mansell, which is a composite of music from Swan Lake but played backwards and distorted. This again reflects Nina’s mental process. Here is a girl whose whole life has been consumed by her desire to play the swan queen. She knows every bar of the Swan Lake theme, it is played in her home, in the music boxes in her bedroom and is even her ringtone; so when she starts to break down that is all she can hear, spinning around in her head, distorted and out of sorts, in harmony with her fragile mind. It may not make for particularly pleasant viewing, like most of the film, but if that’s what you’re after, go to a Richard Curtis film.

It is an easy thing to say, but it also should be noted that this is by far the best thing Natalie Portman has ever done on screen. She manages to be sexy while still capturing a childlike innocence that is vital for the role (in many ways this film is about Nina becoming a woman) and she wonderfully portrays Nina’s descent into madness with an apprehension of a woman still trying to hold on to her last remnants of sanity. The role of Nina in this film is complex enough to always make it an Oscar contender, but it still had to be acted right and Portman strikes a brilliant balance.

Mila Kunis was also good in her first serious role, although I doubt she will ever have a problem playing dark and seductive, and Vicent Cassel was, as ever, intimidatingly masculine. Barbara Hershey did a wonderful job playing Nina’s overbearing, cruel mother.

The King's Speech (2010)

4.5/5 -- A flawless film, only tarnished slightly by its flawed history.


Colin Firth gives a career defining performance as King George VI.

Director: Tom Hooper
Writer: David Seidler (screenplay)
Stars: Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham Carter

The King’s Speech is the (almost) true story of King George VI’s ascension and his struggle with a crippling fear of public speaking. After trying various methods to cure King George VI’s (Colin Firth) stammer, Queen Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter) takes him to see Australian speech therapist Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) who uses some unconventional methods to allow him to speak more liberally. This film is as much a study of the changing relationship between King ‘Bertie’ and his servant as it is a story about a man overcoming a personal social obstacle that has a profound impact on his life and, as monarch, his job.

This is a brilliant film, it is original, engaging and perfectly paced; it is moving but at the same time is laugh-out-loud funny. It’s superbly acted and wonderfully shot. Tom Hooper’s clever direction allows the audience to always be aware of the historical context of the scene, while at the same time keeping them engaged. The effect is to modernise the story - we are not constantly aware that we are watching a historical drama set in a time that most of us will not have experienced (thus distancing us from the film), rather we feel a part of Bertie and Lionel’s world.

As you would expect given the cast, the film’s acting is excellent across the board. I have to admit, I’m not always Colin Firth’s greatest fan, I feel his role selection is sometimes questionable and he doesn’t have a huge range, but this role is perfect for him and he acts it faultlessly. He thoroughly deserves his Academy Award. Geoffrey Rush is a perfect foil, although I felt his portrayal of Lionel Logue was perhaps a bit too modern, and Helena Bonham Carter is, as ever, wonderfully understated.

I really want to give this film 5/5, and certainly as a piece of cinema it deserves that, but historically, unfortunately the film doesn’t tell the whole story. Firstly, I find it near impossible to believe that Bertie and Lionel held quite as close a relationship as the film purports and certainly I think there is a stunning lack of deference between King George VI and the press and politicians of the 20’s and 30’s, his subjects, lest we forget. More importantly, Churchill’s role in the whole affair is bizarrely rewritten to make him appear a close friend of Bertie, when really he was a supporter of his pro-Hitler older brother Edward VIII. Yes, Churchill was a war hero and yes American history teaches he can do no wrong, but David Seidler missed an opportunity to portray a more complicated and interesting character in, what can generously be called, his distorted caricature of Churchill.

The Town (2010)

3/5 -- An engaging modern action/crime/heist thriller, but nothing new.



Nuns with guns - one of an assortment of intimidating costumes used by Doug's crew, mainly, I suspect, to create a sense of fear amongst the film's audience.

Director: Ben Affleck
Writers: Peter Craig (screenplay), Ben Affleck (screenplay)
Stars: Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall and Jon Hamm

Doug MacRay (Ben Affleck) is a Charlestown armed bank robber who falls for Claire Keesey (Rebecca Hall), the manager of the last bank he robbed. As FBI agent Adam Frawley (Jon Hamm) closes in on him and his crew Doug is forced to choose between a new start with Claire and his old Charlestown life, most notably his best friend James Coughlin (Jeremy Renner), James’ sister Krista (Blake Lively), with whom he has a casual sexual relationship and the intimidating leader of their crew, Fergus Colm (Pete Postlethwaite).

My problem with The Town is as a heist film it’s not particularly sophisticated and as a crime thriller, while it’s engaging in parts, it’s not anything that hasn’t been done before. Just read the plot summary above: The essence of this film’s plot is one that we have seen in different guises before.

There are glimpses of an interesting, complex character in Doug MacRay, which are touched on in his relationship with Claire and his respect for his Charlestown neighbourhood, but not developed enough to give the audience any more than a superficial impression of who he is, which is disappointing given that this is the focus of the film.

I also don’t buy the plotline that sees Doug fall for Claire, after she becomes the key witness in an FBI investigation Doug’s heist on her bank. For a professional criminal who is portrayed as intelligent, meticulous and cautious this seems a huge oversight.

This is not a bad film by any means. It is well shot and visually interesting and it is a competently acted film: Affleck can do action films, Pete Postlethwaite always delivers (albeit in this case his role is relatively minor) and Blake Lively is surprisingly good as drug-addled Krista. I’m sure fans of the genre will enjoy this film, although there is some room for improvement.

'Tamara Drewe' (2010)

2/5 -- While I’m sure this was a nice little money spinner for him in the US, with its clichéd portrait of rural England, this is not a film to remember for the director of Dangerous Liaisons, High Fidelity, Dirty Pretty Things and The Queen.


Pretty. Vacant.

Director: Stephen Frears
Writers: Posy Simmonds (graphic novel), Moira Buffini (screenplay)
Stars: Gemma Arterton, Luke Evans and Dominic Cooper

Tamara Drewe (Gemma Arterton) is a columnist from London who returns home to Dorset to renovate and sell her family home. In so-doing she encounters a supporting cast of the most hackneyed characters imaginable; there is the strong, handsome and moral young farmer (Luke Evans), the skinny-jeaned, eyeliner-wearing indie rockstar (Dominic Cooper), the mischievous schoolgirls who obsess over him (Jessica Barden and Charlotte Christie), the brilliant but conceited, philandering author and his acquiescent, kindly wife (Roger Allam and Tamsin Greig), the token American, who served little purpose other than as a bridging character between the US audience and this foreign land (Bill Camp) and finally the barmaid – bet you can’t guess her nationality, yep, she’s an Aussie, stunningly original – (Josie Taylor).

You can probably guess where I’m going with this one. The lesson I have now learnt is never to watch a film just for Gemma Arterton or because its eponymous heroine shares your surname (albeit with a superfluous ‘e’). This latter point seems not to have alluded Frears, who has made a film whose sole purpose seems to be to showcase a very attractive young actress. Tamara is no more than a submissive sex object in this film and despite making a pop-feministic statement along the lines of: “No one takes me seriously now that I’m good looking” does nothing to prove that she is in possession of anything other than high cheekbones and red lipstick.

The film is funny, in parts, ridiculous in many, and is fine if you want to turn your brain off for an hour and a half and look at pretty people frolicking around in fields of cows or in ‘quaint’ [shudder] thatch-roofed English cottages. I suppose any film whose principle actors include Gemma Arterton and Dominic Cooper is never going to be one for the ages. The star of the film, without a doubt, was Boss, the boxer dog, played wonderfully by Albert Clark, who won the Palm Dog award at Cannes.

As a parting note, the biggest shock in what was a terribly banal film, was to see James Naughtie, serious political journalist of Today programme (and spoonerism) fame, making a bizarre cameo as an interviewer. Oh James...

The Fighter (2010)

4.5/5 -- A good film made great by Christian Bale's show-stealing performance.


Bale brilliantly captures a man who was pysically and mentally destroyed by drug abuse.

Director: David O. Russell
Writers: Scott Silver (screenplay) Paul Tamasy (screenplay) Eric Johnson (screenplay)
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams and Melissa Leo

In a film based on true events, Mark Wahlberg plays Micky Ward, a stepping-stone boxer coached by his drug-addicted half-brother Dicky Eklund (Christian Bale), himself a former boxer , and managed by his overbearing mother Alice (Melissa Leo). Micky wants to make something of himself but continually finds himself let down and mismanaged by his family, but his life starts to change after meeting Charlene Fleming (Amy Adams) a local, straight-talking bartender, who causes a rift in the family.

To all intents this was really Christian Bale’s film. His portrayal of a trembling, slurring coke-addict was so convincing that it gave the film a gritty, documentary-style realism. It was one of those special performances in a supporting role that not only steals the film, but also makes the performances of his fellow cast seem better. In truth Mark Wahlberg only average in this film, he looked the part and did a good enough job. Amy Adams and Melissa Leo gave very good performances, but in considerably easier roles to act. They were both Oscar nominated, of course, with Leo winning in what was (to be a little harsh) an easy year for Supporting Actress, but, for me, Bale’s performance would’ve won Best Supporting Actor in any of the past ten years, facing stiff opposition from Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men in 2007. We know from the Machinist that Bale gives everything in preparation for a role and he lost weight for this one too, he looks and acts every bit the ravaged junkie; I’m out of hyperbole, it was special.

I feel I have been a little unkind to Mark Wahlberg, but his real triumph was in the role he played off the screen in getting this film made. It was his project and always came with him attached, but he gave everything for this film in production and in years of gruelling training and he even waived his fee to make it happen. Well done, Marky.